Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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