Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize