I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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