I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
