My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
