If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
