Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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