they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
