i barfeds in our rink
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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