people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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