I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I understand Curling. That high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need to get me chipped asap
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
