I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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