I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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