am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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