just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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