Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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