In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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