yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
