college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
