i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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