You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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