Are we in a gay sports bar?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize