I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
