This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
