I just threw up on my dentist
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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