you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
