I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
