oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
