i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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