My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
