I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize