Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
