covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
