Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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