A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize