upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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