wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
