I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I didn't notice because vodka
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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