so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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