did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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