You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
