I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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