he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
