yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
