The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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