he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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