reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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