Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
