ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
