bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
A+ Viking dick
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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