let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize