Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
