i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
