So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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