I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
