Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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