Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
