Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
