i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
