Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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