He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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