i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
